don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
