You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
