I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
