Can Purell be used as lube?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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