Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
