$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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