just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
