so explain again why im purple
no
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
