Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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