u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
