i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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