Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
