I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
