Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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