Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
