You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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