drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
