Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
