Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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