oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
