I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
