I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize