Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
