So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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