so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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