...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
