it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
