he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
