Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
