But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
