Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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