remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
