i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We had sex on a dog bed..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
