based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
