you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
