The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
