Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
