Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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