His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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