Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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