too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
