You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
