Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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