he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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