she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
