I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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