You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize