So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
