You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
