What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
