those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
