I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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