There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize