it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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