I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize