I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
