The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize