I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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