im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
