their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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