just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You are a genius and a whore.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
