just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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