walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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