i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
